It’s costume time again. If you are one of the few people who hate to dress up, or don’t really want to spend the time, money, and effort on a costume, you are in luck. There are tons of costumes you can wear that won’t require you to dress up. Best of all, all of these costumes cost less than ten dollars and can be made quickly.
1. For the ultimate in simplicity, wear a hat and tell everyone you’re a hat rack.
2. Carry some paper around with you and, when people ask, become a paper shredder by ripping up the paper.
3. You can also carry a picket sign that says, “Nudist on Strike.”
4. If you’re willing to put a little more effort into it, paint a white mustache on your lip and wear or carry a sign that says “Got Milk?”
5. Write “Go Ceilings!” on the front of your shirt. Alternatively, carry around pom-poms or anything else you would take to your favorite sports game. Be sure to have a couple of cheers ready; after all, you’re a ceiling fan.
6. If you have a white shirt and pants, jogging outfit, or leotards, you can be an autograph book by simply carrying around a permanent marker and ask people to sign you.
7. Alternatively, you draw a large UPC code on your chest and write the word “costume” above it in order to become a generic costume.
8. Carry a sign that says, “I’m the invisible (wo)man.” When people point out that they can see you, act surprised or curse and say you’re taking back the costume or explain that’s what happens when you buy a costume on sale. You can also shake your head sadly and say it’s not a very good costume.
9. Either write on your shirt or attach a sign that reads, “Sell by” and include a date from about two weeks earlier and you are “past your prime.”
10. Or you can attach a sign to your back that says, “Shirt: $28, Jeans $45, Shoes $80, Costume that doesn’t make me look stupid: Priceless.”
11. Alternative endings could be “Costume that took minimal effort,” “Not having to get dressed up,” and “A costume that I can wear again.” Add the word “Halloween” when appropriate.